23 - The Arrival / 24 - The Search - MWFic

Chapter 23 – The Arrival

(There is a black screen with 'one hour later' written over it)

Scene: a T-junction intersection of hallways on the Massive

This passageway is roomy, well-lit, and a funky magenta colour. Irkens hurry back and forth along the corridors, heads down reading things, all fuss and bother.

Attached to one wall is a map, littered with Irken writing and complicated diagrams. When the hallway becomes temporarily empty of scurrying busybodies, Zim suddenly pops down from the ceiling, hanging upside-down on his spider legs. He runs a finger over the map.

ZIM (thinking)
Okay, I am HERE.

He jabs his finger at a large happy face symbol.

ZIM (thinking)
And I want to go ... HERE.

He jabs his finger again, this time at a large, bright blue, sparkly blob. A symbol of a skull is next to it. Zim traces the path from the blob back to the happy face, and growls in irritation.

ZIM (thinking)
This could take–

REBDA

My Tallest, please listen to me!

Zim is back up into the wires on the ceiling in an instant. He struggles to hide himself adequately then remains perfectly still.

Down below, Rebda and the two Almighty Tallest emerge from the terminating passageway into the T-intersection. The Tallest are floating along with very black expressions, and Rebda is tagging along behind them panic-stricken, literally begging. It's not something she's used to, and her voice struggles awkwardly to form the imploring words.

REBDA
PLEASE!

She grabs at the hem of Purple's robe-thing, yanking the Tallest to a stop. He looks down at her in disgust and swats her away.

PURPLE

You DARE to soil the almighty garment of your Tallest?!

Unfortunately, the group has stopped not far from where Zim is hiding. He starts to sweat, clinging to the cables tightly. Rebda falls to her knees, eyes lowered half out of perfunctory respect and half out of pure fear.

REBDA

My Tallest, my sovereigns, my ALL! PLEASE don't do this! I can find him, I know I can, just give me more time...

RED

One hour was the deal, Rebda. He still hasn't been found.

PURPLE
That's right. We're taking this sector out of isolation.

REBDA

But, no, wait! He'll be able to escape!

PURPLE

People will start asking questions if we let it go on any longer! This is TOP SECRET, remember?!

Rebda looks pathetic. She clasps her hands together and gives the Tallest her rarely used expression of hopelessness.

REBDA

Please.

RED

We don't go back on our word, Rebda. We'll call you later to discuss your fate.

The officer girl seems to melt to the ground in rejection. The Tallest turn and float off.

Zim, watching through the gaps in the cabling, makes the mistake of trying to turn himself to watch the Tallest go. The twisty motion causes two of his spider legs to dislodge. He slips a little lower and barely gags back a gasp. Slowly his grip loosens...

Now the Tallest are gone, Rebda suddenly leaps to her feet, eyes flaming with determination. She balls her hands into fists and clenches her teeth.

REBDA (to herself)
I will find you, you repugnant little sloooorrrr-BEAST! I'll find you, lest it be the last thing I ever do.

Zim loses his grip completely save for one spider leg. He drops down soundlessly, hanging in the air behind Rebda's back. His whole body tenses in fear.

REBDA (to herself, voice seething with vehemence)
I'll search this whole ship. I'll rip apart the walls ... but I WILL FIND YOU.

Zim jerks himself back up high just as Rebda whirls around and marches down the hall. He watches her go, terrified yet thrilled with adrenalin.

ZIM (thinking)
I am the master of hiding! HAH!

He gazes back down at the map and groans.

ZIM (thinking)
It's so far away. By the time I get there it'll be–

(There is a black screen with 'evening' written over it)

Scene: outer space

The Voot Cruiser is rocketing along. It makes a gentle curve and behold, there is the Massive, dead ahead.

Inside, Dib is jumping up and down in childish excitement. GIR jumps up and down too, although less coordinated, and Gaz is still piloting.

DIB
CHECK IT OUT, Gaz! The MASSIVE! The MOTHER SHIP of the ENTIRE Irken Empire! The home of the villains who spawned ZIM! Source of my anguish for Earth, cause of my–

GAZ
Dib, this mission is going to be a complete failure if you don't learn to shut up when appropriate. Now, we'll need disguises.

DIB
Huh? What for?

GAZ

Maybe we could get away with it on Cureallia. But honestly Dib, we're trying to AVOID attracting attention. We need to be Irkens.

Dib stares at her for a beat.

DIB
COOL! ... how?

GAZ
GIR, it's up to you. Somewhere in your head must be SOMETHING that could constitute a couple of disguises.

GIR stops hopping around, and has a little dig through his head and his stomach compartment. He offers various items that aren't really appropriate –the usual muffins, pigs, squeaky toys, Battina, more pigs and a range of cheeses. Finally he finds things that could work – masks, paint, various articles of clothing. Dib watches it all come out in amazement.

DIB
You must have unlimited storage capacity. Wow! ... so how does it work?

GAZ

DIB! Okay, now, GIR, you steer us towards the Massive. Dib, let's–

DIB
Suit up?

Gaz's eye twitches at the corny phrase.

GAZ

Whatever.

Gaz and GIR trade places. GIR sticks his little pink tongue out the corner of his mouth and rocks back and forth as he steers, while behind him the humans don their disguises. By the time GIR has flown the Cruiser to the Massive's edge, he is accompanied by two freaky-looking but passable aliens.

Dib is now wearing a foot-length black cloak, with a hood, over his usual clothes. His hands and the lower half of his face have been painted green, that really cheap, bright green you can only find in paint intended for children. He also wears a cardboard mask that comes down to just under his nose. It's a Halloween mask with green skin and red eyes that looks sort of Irken-ish, even though it's supposed to be a dragon face. For good measure he's also wearing huge platform shoes, making him half a head taller than Gaz.

Gaz is wearing her usual outfit with a hideous full-head rubber mask, clearly from Halloween. It's green and melty-looking with sticky-out eyeballs and bloody teeth.

DIB
Aren't we meant to be Irkens? What are you supposed to be?

The girl shrugs. Even though wearing lame disguises will probably draw just as much attention as going without, the two of them feel somehow more secure and undercover. GIR brings the Cruiser in.

Scene: a parking lot on the Massive

The Voot Cruiser, now inside the Massive, is in a dark parking lot. It's a different one than the one Zim entered, of course, or there'd be wreckage everywhere.

A bent-over and very bored-looking parking officer sits on a purple hover-chair, sleepily riding it up and down. The Cruiser pulls up jerkily beside him and opens.

The officer peers in to see a cute SIR-unit, a mutated Irken, and a ... and something unidentifiable.

PARKING OFFICER
Welcome aboard the Massive, please state your names and purpose in being here.

Dib clears his throat and starts off, being the Irken among them. He does his best at a Zim impersonation.

DIB (Zimmish)
I am DIB! I am a proud and fierce member of the almighty Irken race! I am loyal to my Tallest and I love invading planets and crushing weak people! I am here to...

GAZ

We're here to pick up a friend.

The parking officer shifts his bored gaze to Gaz.

PARKING OFFICER
And what are you?

GAZ
I'm Gaz, and I'm a visitor from the friendly planet of–

GIR

Chickens!

Not knowing what a chicken is, the parking officer just nods. GIR, feeling it's time for his moment in the sun, pipes up.

GIR

I'm GIR! I like piggies, and moosies, and pizza, and the SCARY MONKEY ROOCCKKS, and–

Dib silences the robot with a violent pat on the head.

DIB

And this is my SIR unit. He's um ... insane.

PARKING OFFICER
Right then, in you go. Enjoy your stay. Eh.

GIR, with great enthusiasm, slams the Cruiser closed and takes off. Gaz and Dib fall over from the motion. Cheerily, GIR whips the Cruiser into a park and beams a metallic smile at his comrades.

GIR

LET'S GO!!!

Chapter 24 – The Search

Scene: a dark place on the Massive

It is so dark that details are indistinguishable. A hallway is formed between two gently curving walls that run parallel to each other. The innermost wall encloses a circular chamber on its other side.

One wall is made of dark blue metal and is bare; the other, the inner wall, also made of dark blue metal, contains chunky panels. It also sports the light sources: neon-blue lights that cast a wavery glow on the immediate space around them, but not on much else.

A tall Irken guard strolls down the hallway, swinging a baton of sorts. He uses the baton to whack the panelled wall in a rhythm, humming something. From the glazed-over look in his magenta eyes, he's having a daydream and is distracted. He is continually walking the complete length of the circular hallway that wraps around the inner, as yet unseen room – that is his sorry lot in life. Rounding the curve, he goes out of sight.

With not a sound, Zim drops from the ceiling and lands neatly on the cold floor on all fours, metal appendages lifted off the ground so they won't tap. He sucks them back into his pak and for a moment is very still, listening to the fading footsteps and whistling of the guard. Then he turns to the panelled wall.

Working quickly, the little Irken runs his slender fingers over various Irken inscriptions on the wall. He seems angry with what he finds, moving hurriedly from one panel to the next, searching for something.

On one panel he rests longer, reading it and re-reading it. Then he taps his fingers on it lightly.

There is a slight echo – the panel is hollow.

Wasting no time, Zim summons his spider legs and uses their sharp points to tear at the panel, ripping the metal. It is tedious work, not to mention loud, and Zim is getting frustrated.

ZIM (thinking)
Stupid Rebda, taking my cutting devices! But she won't stop me now...

With awful metallic squealing sounds, the panel comes loose and clatters to the ground. The racket is awful. Zim takes the rectangular panel up in his arms, careful not to touch the sharp jags on the edges. He peers into the hole the panel had been covering, and grins.

DISTANT VOICE
HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE?!

Zim tenses himself as the same guard as before comes running round the circular track, coming from the direction from which he originally came. He pauses and stares at the short Irken in puzzlement.

Zim doesn't even bother with a wisecrack. Leaping up he bashes the guard squarely in the head with the metal sheet. The guard goes down like a sack of cement.

Tossing the dented metal aside, Zim pokes his victim cautiously. The guard is breathing, but he's out cold.

ZIM
Excellent. Zim wins!

He removes from his pak the hot-pink jammer device that the benevolent guard had given him, and chucks it aside.

ZIM
The Tallest can find me now. By the time I've finished setting up, they'll be here to witness the death of the Empire!

He leaps through the hole he'd made.

Scene: a room in the Massive

The room is shaped like a wheel, its spokes being the many corridors that run off in different directions. As well as corridors there are wide platforms floating up and down along the walls, to upper storeys. It is well-lit and mostly pastel coloured.

With Gaz and GIR standing close, Dib watches slack-jawed as many (predominantly tall) Irkens scurry around in every direction, like hundreds of mice in a maze all after the same piece of cheese. The trio has to constantly move as Irkens pass them by, or be run over instead. Most of the Irkens don't even look up from the papers they carry.

Gaz, all business as usual, plants her hands on her hips and peers down at GIR through the bug-eyes of her mask.

GAZ

Come on, GIR, it's taken us long enough just to find our way out of that stupid car park. Find Zim NOW!

GIR stares up at Gaz in fear.

GIR

Who are you?!

GAZ

I'm GAZ, you moron! Now, start Zim-scanning!

GIR

Ooooo. NOW I get it ... no. No I don't. Wait...

Gaz makes trembling fists of rage. GIR miraculously takes the hint, and begins his creepy 360-degree head turn, scanning. Then he points a finger down a nearby hallway.

GIR
THAT way! THAT way! Onward to glory! Yaaahhhhhh!

GIR takes off with his usual squeaky sound effects. Gaz follows him closely. But Dib, in those huge shoes, is much more cumbersome. He takes about five steps and falls on his face, then tries again and falls again.

DIB
HEY! WAIT, GUYS, WAIT!

But GIR and Gaz don't hear. They are already halfway down one of the corridors.

DIB
Stuff this.

He takes off and abandons his shoes, underneath which are his usual boots, and sprints after his comrades. He has just caught up when something very black and very fast catches him up and lifts him clear off his feet.

DIB
HEY!

Gaz and GIR skid to a stop and peer back.

It is Rebda holding Dib by the scruff of the neck – it's a miracle his hood hasn't fallen off. She is trembling with excitement, twisting her fingers into gruesome claws and chuckling quietly at her success.

Gaz looks Rebda's creepy attire up and down, and is mildly impressed.

GAZ (thinking)
Now THAT'S an outfit.

Keeping her voice down to avoid attracting attention, Rebda shoves her face close to Dib's and hisses at him with a tone of evil glee.

REBDA

It was a nice try, ZIM! But your last disguise failed to fool me, and it would seem this one has followed suit!

DIB
What? Hey, I'm not Zim! PUT ME DOWN!

GAZ

He's not Zim.

REBDA

Liars! An Irken of such minute height could only be Zim! Look, you hideous little monster, and tell me do you not see Zim?!

She dangles Dib in front of Gaz. Dib is kicking and flailing, cursing under his breath and exhibiting every trait of endless frustration and obsessive determination that he and Zim share. The girl smirks under her mask.

GAZ (thinking)
How ironic...

GAZ
His name is Dib. He's not Zim. So let it go.

Rebda narrows an eye at Dib's mask. He stares back through the holes in the eyes.

DIB
I'm not Zim, I'm just a grossly malformed Irken.

Rebda drops Dib in disgust. Then she has a thought.

REBDA

Wait, then, you KNOW who Zim is?!

DIB
Y–

REBDA (still trying to keep quiet)
For if you do I will DESTROY YOOUUUUU!!

DIB
...... no.

GAZ

No.

GIR
Tuna fish!

Rebda whirls on her heel and strides off down the hallway, grumbling. When she's out of earshot, Gaz turns to her brother, who is rubbing his neck painfully.

GAZ

They're after Zim.

DIB

Yep. GIR, how close are we?

GIR wraps his arms around Dib's legs.

GIR
We're touching!!

DIB
NO, I mean, how close are we to ZIM?

GIR salutes quickly.

GIR

Follow the yellow brick road!

He takes off again, with the humans right behind.